Reflection on a challenging teaching experience on 29^th Oct

Context

It is an open atelier for painting and graphic at a local art school. The students are between 11 and 16 years old. There are 3 – 4 students with neuro diversity or disability in the group. There are between 10-14 students in a session. The session takes place once a week and is over 2h 15min. The students are working on individual projects, spread over two floors. My role is to support them technically and creatively with their work.

Before the Session

I felt very unwell that day coming up with a cold and on my period. That morning I was organising a change for a teaching session the next day from in person teaching to online teaching. Therefore, the whole morning was very busy with organisation and preparing for the session for the following day. Then I was teaching a group of small kids, which took a fair bit of my energy.

I had an idea of a project brief to suggest to the students but did not really plan it through how to practically bring the project to the students.

My state before the session was feeling unwell, slight anxiety on how the session will go, I felt ‘half prepared’ and uncertain.

The Session

I started the session by introducing the theme of the project. Some of the students were interested in the theme. I introduced two techniques that they could choose to start working on it. Then I left them with the introduced theme in a separate room downstairs, letting it land (did not want to ‘put them on the spot’). I went back upstairs to work with the other students. After some time, the voices downstairs got louder and I could hear them running around in different rooms. I went downstairs to check on them. A group of them, including one student who is on the ADHD spectrum has the ability to capture other students for their ventures, were running around in the theatre room, playing and hiding wildly. I asked them to calm down. After some time, it escalated again and I asked them to stop and return to their drawing. The group returned to drawing for the rest of the session, but it did not feel like they were in it. At the end I spoke to the challenging student, pointing out the difficulties and inviting her in to finding a way to work together without crossing boundaries.

My (emotional) reaction

I started the session stressed and not feeling well. Introducing the project I felt excitement and also not quite sure how they can approach the project. When I heard the loud voices downstairs, I felt annoyed, scared and overwhelmed of how to get the group back ‘under control’. Until the rest of the session I felt between sad, annoyed and overwhelmed.

After the session I felt sad and doubted myself and my ability to teach.

My intention and goal of teaching that group

It is a voluntary class. The students have a lot of pressure often at school or at home. This should be a balance between hanging out with each other, having fun, while being creative.

The challenge, I am not clear about the goal, the purpose, the direction of the class.

My reflection

I started the session from an ‘unkind’ place, towards myself and the students. My initial motivation was to ‘keep them busy’ because previously I found teaching the group really challenging and I was overwhelmed with the group. I introduced the theme, me talking, then just left them to it. I did not engage in a conversation to help them build their connection with the theme. I did not give them clear direction on how they can start working on the project.

There was an element that I avoided to get to know ‘them’ as a student cohort from a fear of be ‘overwhelmed’ by the students as one group. When I get to know the individual person, I will be able to support them more individually and bring compassion in my teaching and there is a lot that I can bring to their experience.

Challenges

• The group is very diverse from the individual needs to the abilities and interests, language,
• It is split over several rooms
• It is a ‘drop in format’ some students come sporadically
• There are 3-4 students with neuro-diversities and disabilities
• Staying neutral and compassionate to each individual student
• I don’t have a clear direction of where it is going, no lesson plan, no project direction
• The comfort zone and area of interest seams very limited on ‘Anime and Cosplay’.

Questions  

• How can I get to know each individual student as well as the group more?
• What are the different needs of that student cohort?
• How can I find a common interest, theme, link in the group?
• What are important boundaries? How can I set boundaries? How can I restate them if needed?

• How do I help them to develop their work, introduce new ideas without taking away their ownership of their work, that they are driving their process?
• Take them out of their comfort zone a bit and introducing new aspects and approaches
• How do I build the bridge between the theme and helping the students to find their way into the project?
• How can I create a sense of direction for the class or vision where they can develop towards?
• What are we doing here? Why are they here? What is the direction?
• How can I harness this energy?

• Why do I find teaching this group so particularly difficult?
• How can I share more of me? My experiences, points of view, bring tolerance to diversity, my values …

Building and holding the ‘container’

• Co-creating a container with the students: What are rules that can work for them AND for me?
• What do they want out of the class, what do they want to do? Give them vision where it could go i.e. competition, exhibition, installation, secret pop-up art…

Needs of the students

• What is the comfort zone and non-comfort zone of each student?
• The willingness to take risks to create something that is not approved to be ‘nice or good’

Creating a direction or vision

• Finding out what do they want to do as a group or some of them? How can I support them?

Practicing kindness towards myself

• Acknowledging my lack of experiencing
• Being real with the students, what are my interests, believes … bringing more of me

Conclusion

I need to go on the journey with the students, get to know each of students, relate to them from a real place, with my experiences, limitations and believes and values.

The co-creating how they as a group want to create the sessions, I need to find out what they want from the open atelier while being real with what is working for me.

The co-creation where everyone is included with their diversity has huge potential and power. What do they want to do? I can be the facilitation for their creative voice.