In the review of the action plan from the 11th October I can see how I have been going so far with the project and its planning.
During the initial planning I was aware that the planning was ‘front loading’ the actions for the SIP enquiry. Knowing from experience that I tend to fall behind and need a buffer towards the end.
In today’s PG Cert workshop, a misconception of timeline and outcome became apparent to me. A proof of my wish-reading skills, where I can read what I perceive it to be (not what is written on paper
Updating the action plan was useful to take stock of the SIP process, review and adjust the plan.
So far, the SIP project has been a very rich process to gain deeper understanding to my teaching practice.
The journaling has enabled me to gain deep understandings while opening up the vastness of that exploration while recognizing my limitations for the SIP.
Through the ethic form I put in place support for that reflexive process of enquiry. As I can think and reflect well in conversation, I arranged with two close people to support me in this journey to meet weekly for an hour conversation.
A therapist with whom I have been working with for 2 years, which whom I reflect on my teaching experience where personal themes emerge and I can gain understanding of my wider context. The second person is a trusted friend with personal experience in academia. This helps to shape how to put my insight into an academic context while staying true to myself. During these conversations I have been taking notes which then transcribes into in depth journaling.
The journaling gives me great insight into themes and take a long time. A recurring structure crystalized which appears to be helpful in my reflection process.
I want to revisit this structure to see if it refers to my question of enquiry.
So far my journals have been reflective after a session. The relation to the intentions before the session and the reflection needs to be highlighted.
Do I gain insight to the gap between my intentions and my actions?
Does the deeper understanding of the subject inform my teaching practice?
Can I relate my learnings to the wider context?
As the subject of enquiry requires a change in attitude towards myself, it is a big personal rewiring which is too big for a brief project. However during my enquiry, I have the chance to experiment and experience the effects of compassion to myself and my students.
Reflection on the Visual Design course in GBS, teaching on Sat 13/11
Teaching context
The student cohort are in their first semester of the Visual Design course. The students attend the course part time, while they work in more or less subject related companies. They are between 22-40. The student cohort contain 20 female students and one male student which come from various places of Switzerland.
The project I am teaching runs over the entire 1 semester, 19 weeks were I hold 4 full day teaching sessions in the preparation phase of the project. The project itself is on gender socialisation and gender diversity.
This is my following schedule with the group
24/09 – Session 1: Introduction to the project, in person
25/09 – Session 2: Visualising the concept, in person
30/10 – Session 3: Definition of the problem and solution, online
13/11 – Session 4: Project proposal and mood boards for design direction, in person
29/01 – Session 5: Presentation, in person
This was one of my first teaching situations in this cultural and institutional context.
Before Session 4
Session 3 took place in an online format in which I got to know the students better and learn their names. The chance to see the students’ faces without mask online, to be able to switch between their screens and share my screen really helped to navigate and build connection to the students.
I had the feeling that the session went very well and the students had a sense of ownership of their project by then. Therefore it was more the case of engaging in conversation and meeting them where they were to help refine their ideas (not necessarily holding a firm structure to take them out of their comfort zone)
A template for a project proposal which I prepared was a guide line which helped the groups to work individually while I could take time for long individual group tutorials.
The lesson plan of the session was simple and the agenda clear. This helped me to be present
After an hour and a half journey I arrived 20min before the session without a minute by minute lesson plan. Which in other case would make me extremely nervous.
We set up the room together before the session could start.
During the session
Initially I felt a bit nervous, wanting to do a check in but not exactly knowing how that could work in a large group in person. Out of nervousness I initially went quite quickly but managed to ‘pass on the ball’ to the groups of 4 for a check in. In a looser conversation the group could land and the engagement in conversation with the group set a good atmosphere to start with.
I made space for some reflections and potential questions that came up before introducing the content of the class.
With a projector I shared the proposal template and talked through the details. That way it was clear for everyone to get started independently and I could do extensive group tutorials. I sensed where the group was at, checked in with them if they needed breaks and shared important reflections.
During the session it was a respectful vibe, meeting the students on eye-level. I had space to ask where the students were at, had flexibility on the structure yet clear direction where we needed to go as a group that day. It also allowed me to improvise at the end, look at each others progress, allow the students to speak while supporting whenever needed. The was good time keeping and the end of the session felt natural, spacious and we finished in time.
My (emotional) reaction
With an initially nervous start it then changed to a very positive session. During the conversations with the group, I had enough space and compassion to be present, sit with questions and not feeling the urge to give immediate answers. I felt trust in my facilitation skills to support and guide them on their creative journey with their individual project without needing to force a direction out of insecurity. It also helped that it was a group project. That way the conversations were three way and not too directly one to one. (Note: I often feel that I get too close to people in a dialogue, which scares people off)
My intention and goal of teaching that group
On session 1 and 2 I had the intention to ‘pull them out of their comfort zone’ which there was way more resistance.
In this particular session, my goal was to support the students on their path. It felt like in session 3 I shared and connected to the importance of that subject, which opened my heart and helped me to shift my intentions away from a ‘lack of self-confidence’ (which currently is more often the case) to the care to the subject and my integrity.
I engaged with the subject enough to feel confident to hold various also challenging conversations, yet holding compassion for all sorts of emotional reactions.
Conclusion
In the previous sessions I took the students out of their comfort zone, got to know them and the direction of their projects, engaged in various email exchanges where I intentionally built connection and nurtured my compassionate approach to that group. The groups found a sense of ownership on their projects, which allowed me to let go of control and trust them together to find their path in the creative project with my support.
Reflection of a students
It was great, she really enjoyed the session with me.
The subject of the project was for some very new and confronting but in the process of engaging with gender diversity they have learned a lot, engaged in expansive conversations and felt that it is a very current and relevant topic.
The reflecting student felt rushed in session 3. She suggested that it might be very helpful to know the day before the core of the session so she could prepare mentally or practically for the session.
Reflection on the art atelier with the adolescents in the JKS
Before the session
Leading up to the class on the 12/11 with the adolescents I had some time to reflect (Journal 4 12/11) and prepare the session with a project, printouts of research and an idea where they could go as a group.
In the reflection on the class, I felt into the potential of the group and what I saw them, what they could do together, how I could work with them and support them, what I could contribute and what they could gain from the sessions with me.
Out of insecurity on my skills in this context and fear, that the class could go out of control once more I was solidly prepared for the session with yet another plan of action, keeping them once more occupied with something I have planned and designed from beginning to end.
I printed out the project brief again, that I read to them the previous session together with various research images and examples. A plan of how they could approach the project and even how they could develop it into a larger outcome. I was ‘well prepared’ and had a clear plan of how the session would/should go.
Project introduction, Alter Eg
During the session
The pupils arrived. At the beginning of the session everyone sat around the table.
I shared some thoughts on how the session went on the previous Friday and that I reflected, mentioning that I was not clear what they wanted out of the session and how I could support them, that they could shape the direction of the course for example a competition, an exhibition or an ‘underground pop-up exhibition’. Out of insecurity it turned into a one-sided monologue from my side
I introduced the project brief again, showed some examples of research and started to ask some questions about qualities or characteristics the Alter Ego could have – silence.
When I asked them what they would like to work towards – silent.
Then I asked how they would like to work on projects – again, there was an initial silence. Then Anna mentioned how the class used to work. Each pupil worked individually on their project and the tutor supported them individually. The group agreed and the class took a different turn.
A group wanted to explore oil painting the other continued on an ink drawing they started as a group. I supported each pupil with the materials that they needed to work on their project.
After some time, Anna and a few others finished the drawing and played in the theatre room. It did not go out of hand and I let it happen. Everyone was busy with their work and I let go of the idea that I needed to be ‘in control’ of what everyone was doing. I engaged in my own activities in the room, available for support when needed.
Towards the end, people tidied up in their time.
My (emotional) reaction
Before and at the beginning of the session I was nervous and uncertain of my skills working with this group. I could feel that they perceived me as someone who wants to put another pressure on them. Once I received the feedback that they like to work individually on their projects I felt a sense of relief, not needing to be in control of where the group is working towards. I got a sense that we, including me can just work on something that we are interested in. I could experiment with a technique and maybe in that way inspire them.
At the end of the session I had a sense of uncertainty if that will continue to work if I am so ‘hands off’.
My intention and goal of teaching that group
My initial intention and vision where the group could work towards was clearly MY intention. The group gave me a signal that they just want to have fun while they are here, engaging in some creative activities but completely away from pressure.
Compassion for the pupils
The pupils probably have a lot of different pressures and expectations that they need to fulfil. There is a lot of insecurity within themselves of what is ok to bring and be. The young people might not have a space where they can just be themselves and move between home and school expectations with the experience of not quite fitting in. Then there might be the insecurity of not being good, pretty or accepted enough.
My reflection
The class took a very different turn that I had initially planned. The pupils gave me a clear feedback, that I need to listen to them. I need to take time to get to know them, engage slowly into conversation with them and see what emerges from it.
There are moments, where I feel avoidant to engage into one to one conversations with some of the pupils out of fear not to know the right answer, going blank and not knowing what to respond or of rejection. Again, I hold on to the idea of needing to provide answers. However, in this class it is much more about being interested in the person and what the person is moved by, eliciting answers the pupil might give themselves.
Challenges
The challenge for me is to see myself in a very different role that the one I usually have, that is leading the way to a specific outcome. Now my role is much more supporting the individual to find their own path.
Questions
How do I build the bridge between the subject/brief and help the students to relate to it?
When the pupil comes to a ‘dead end’, doesn’t know what to work on or doesn’t feel like continuing on something they work on, what do I do? How do I guide them?
Conclusion
I need to learn to let go of control or outcome focused.
I can prepare with techniques or here and there an interesting artist which might be interesting form one pupil, engaging in one to one conversation.
Preparation for next time
Bring examples for Mangas
Look up some more techniques of oil painting to show examples to the pupils who work with oil painting
Reflection in preparation on the art atelier with teen-age students
The previous session with this group was very challenging. I had the feeling that the group was ‘out of control’. What is my need for control? It gives me a sense of value, purpose, sense of direction where the group is going and sense of safety.
I am used to being the captain on a boat knowing the route and directing the group, this gives me a sense of safety. -> Can I be the captain, giving a sense of direction, letting them go and at the end bring them back together?
How can I let the rains looser and go on a journey with the young people, while having a wider perspective?
I can get more curious and step into a dialogue with them without necessarily needing to know the answers, help them to find their own answers.
In the last two weeks I had time to reflect on the session from the 29th Oct to gain further understanding on what happened and what I can do differently.
What do I want to experiment in today’s session?
Planning 12th Nov
Reflection after class 15th Nov
Preparation
Compassion with self
Wear something, I feel myself inSee this as an experimentTake with me a sense of humourBreathing and compassionate meditation before the class
I wore something I felt myself inI had a certain distance and most of the time could see it as an experimentThere was no space for me to do a compassionate meditation before the class, however had a sense of compassion when starting the class
Theme / Brief
Have more practical idea on what I want to do with them.Bring examples of art work
I brought a clear direction and examples for the project
During session
Building the container
Check in with Challenging student before the sessionWhat do they want to get out of the class?What could be the vision for our group? What do we want to do together?
I had a loose chat with Challenging student, but did not check with her specifically.I mentioned my thoughts and gave examples but did not turn it into a conversation.When asking the question what they wanted to do together the group stayed silent.
Practise of compassion during session self and group
Acknowledge my limitations and find out together
I acknowledged where I had limitations and it created space.
While I write down the details on the course structure, the more it becomes clear to me that the group might be too young and it might be too direct to ask them these questions directly, put them on the spot or expect direct answers of them.
It might be good to mention a few things and questions but let it come in through their work or let it land, have a conversation while we work on something.
I need to work with the individual student, not stand on the side ‘observing or directing’. It requires me to sit next to them and understand their world through their eyes.
Reflection on a challenging teaching experience on 29th Oct
Context
It is an open atelier for painting and graphic at a local art school. The students are between 11 and 16 years old. There are 3 – 4 students with neuro diversity or disability in the group. There are between 10-14 students in a session. The session takes place once a week and is over 2h 15min. The students are working on individual projects, spread over two floors. My role is to support them technically and creatively with their work.
Before the Session
I felt very unwell that day coming up with a cold and on my period. That morning I was organising a change for a teaching session the next day from in person teaching to online teaching. Therefore, the whole morning was very busy with organisation and preparing for the session for the following day. Then I was teaching a group of small kids, which took a fair bit of my energy.
I had an idea of a project brief to suggest to the students but did not really plan it through how to practically bring the project to the students.
My state before the session was feeling unwell, slight anxiety on how the session will go, I felt ‘half prepared’ and uncertain.
The Session
I started the session by introducing the theme of the project. Some of the students were interested in the theme. I introduced two techniques that they could choose to start working on it. Then I left them with the introduced theme in a separate room downstairs, letting it land (did not want to ‘put them on the spot’). I went back upstairs to work with the other students. After some time, the voices downstairs got louder and I could hear them running around in different rooms. I went downstairs to check on them. A group of them, including one student who is on the ADHD spectrum has the ability to capture other students for their ventures, were running around in the theatre room, playing and hiding wildly. I asked them to calm down. After some time, it escalated again and I asked them to stop and return to their drawing. The group returned to drawing for the rest of the session, but it did not feel like they were in it. At the end I spoke to the challenging student, pointing out the difficulties and inviting her in to finding a way to work together without crossing boundaries.
My (emotional) reaction
I started the session stressed and not feeling well. Introducing the project I felt excitement and also not quite sure how they can approach the project. When I heard the loud voices downstairs, I felt annoyed, scared and overwhelmed of how to get the group back ‘under control’. Until the rest of the session I felt between sad, annoyed and overwhelmed.
After the session I felt sad and doubted myself and my ability to teach.
My intention and goal of teaching that group
It is a voluntary class. The students have a lot of pressure often at school or at home. This should be a balance between hanging out with each other, having fun, while being creative.
The challenge, I am not clear about the goal, the purpose, the direction of the class.
My reflection
I started the session from an ‘unkind’ place, towards myself and the students. My initial motivation was to ‘keep them busy’ because previously I found teaching the group really challenging and I was overwhelmed with the group. I introduced the theme, me talking, then just left them to it. I did not engage in a conversation to help them build their connection with the theme. I did not give them clear direction on how they can start working on the project.
There was an element that I avoided to get to know ‘them’ as a student cohort from a fear of be ‘overwhelmed’ by the students as one group. When I get to know the individual person, I will be able to support them more individually and bring compassion in my teaching and there is a lot that I can bring to their experience.
Challenges
The group is very diverse from the individual needs to the abilities and interests, language,
It is split over several rooms
It is a ‘drop in format’ some students come sporadically
There are 3-4 students with neuro-diversities and disabilities
Staying neutral and compassionate to each individual student
I don’t have a clear direction of where it is going, no lesson plan, no project direction
The comfort zone and area of interest seams very limited on ‘Anime and Cosplay’.
Questions
How can I get to know each individual student as well as the group more?
What are the different needs of that student cohort?
How can I find a common interest, theme, link in the group?
What are important boundaries? How can I set boundaries? How can I restate them if needed?
How do I help them to develop their work, introduce new ideas without taking away their ownership of their work, that they are driving their process?
Take them out of their comfort zone a bit and introducing new aspects and approaches
How do I build the bridge between the theme and helping the students to find their way into the project?
How can I create a sense of direction for the class or vision where they can develop towards?
What are we doing here? Why are they here? What is the direction?
How can I harness this energy?
Why do I find teaching this group so particularly difficult?
How can I share more of me? My experiences, points of view, bring tolerance to diversity, my values …
Building and holding the ‘container’
Co-creating a container with the students: What are rules that can work for them AND for me?
What do they want out of the class, what do they want to do? Give them vision where it could go i.e. competition, exhibition, installation, secret pop-up art…
Needs of the students
What is the comfort zone and non-comfort zone of each student?
The willingness to take risks to create something that is not approved to be ‘nice or good’
Creating a direction or vision
Finding out what do they want to do as a group or some of them? How can I support them?
Practicing kindness towards myself
Acknowledging my lack of experiencing
Being real with the students, what are my interests, believes … bringing more of me
Conclusion
I need to go on the journey with the students, get to know each of students, relate to them from a real place, with my experiences, limitations and believes and values.
The co-creating how they as a group want to create the sessions, I need to find out what they want from the open atelier while being real with what is working for me.
The co-creation where everyone is included with their diversity has huge potential and power. What do they want to do? I can be the facilitation for their creative voice.
‘Comfort zone vs Threat’, Where is the ‘Magic Zone’?
CSM vs St. Gallen
Here I am comparing my teaching experience of two similar courses, a fashion design short course at CSM and a fashion workshop at the Propädeutikum (foundation level course) at the GBS in St. Gallen, Switzerland. In both courses I lead a fashion project with the focus on the creative process over 5 days.
At CSM most students ‘move towards the school’. They often leave their country or city of origin. They are aware of the reputation of the school. They are eager to learn something new, at least like the idea of it. Through the reputation of the school there is already ‘the proof’ that it works, at least for a lot of students.
There I find it easy to lead the students into a creative process, taking risks to learn new processes, new skills, new techniques, new processes. I have the experience of guiding the students, building connection to the students and supporting and encouraging them on their individual learning journey. I see myself as a guide and co-explorer, pointing out what and where it works well.
This is evident in the eagerness to stay after class, the engagement during sessions, the excitement and pride they have at the end of a project during a presentation.
In St. Gallen most students are from there and a number of the students are still living at home. They chose to take part in a fashion workshop, which they could learn more about through a workshop outline. Most of the students were not aware of CSM or that creative high-end level of fashion design, so where this process potentially can lead to. Most students are assumingly surrounded by a very sleek, minimalistic (comfortable) aesthetic through a narrow cultural diversity.
With these students I experienced the teaching as hard work. I found myself ‘pushing’ the students.
This was evident in their less eagerness in staying after class, coming a bit late to class, wanting breaks, lack of focus during class (students chatting during class to comfort themselves?), moderate excitement at the end presentation. Just a few students left with a sense of ownership of their work at the end of the project.
What are the different needs of these two groups of students in a very different context?
Central Saint Martins
GBS St Gallen
Comfort Zone / safety
Most students are already out side their comfort zone. They already took a step outside their comfort zone and have some experience of ‘the magic zone’.
Mostly their comfort zone is quite small and experience a sense of ‘unsafety’ quickly. More need for comfort and safety.
Stake / commitment
The students made a bigger investment, financially, physical and organisationally to come to the course. Most students WANT to make it work.
If it doesn’t work they have not invested much. Greater need to point out what they can gain from the course.
Trust
The reputation of the school, the alumni of students create a trust that allows them to take a risk and venture out into an unknown creative process, even if they don’t succeed the first time.
The students don’t know why they should take the risk and venture out into a creative process where the outcome is unknown. More need to build trust that allows them to venture into an unknown process.
Willingness for risk taking
Through the trust in the image/idea they have of CSM and the potential gain they can get from it, they are more willing to take risks. Risk taking in their career, most students have great visions where they see themselves in the future
As the students don’t have much at stake and are not familiar with a risky unknown process. They are less willing to take risks. Professionally the students saw themselves in ‘safer’ professions or were not quite clear yet.
Sense of direction
The students are usually very ambitious and have a strong sense of where they want to go professionally.
Most students did not have a clear sense yet where they want to go. They had a greater need to see what are the potential directions they could take this process.
Looking at the students’ needs, would I need to adjust the expectations of the outcome of the course?
Bullet points and thought from the two different teaching contexts
-Painting the bigger picture, why and how, examples of designers (proof that it works)
– Do the students have choice of course? Do they know what they get themselves into?
– Comfort zone, What situation are the students in in their personal life i.e. home, country? What do they have at stake i.e. investment of family money in their education? What drives them to the course and beyond?
– the diverse aesthetics they are exposed to in their surrounding, environment, their interests
– Building trust in the unknown, unfamiliar process
– building bridges to their aesthetic
– What agenda do I bring? What do I need from the students?
– my over-proportionate sense of responsibility, taking away their ownership
– How to bring this learning experience to a conclusion, final check out
– Building relationships to the students, i.e. acknowledging where they are at every day, remembering something that they have shared …
– What is their general experience of taking risks? Moving outside their comfort zone?
What effects it has on me?
When the students are reluctant to take risks, I doubt my confidence quickly
When I push, what are my needs? Need to show my skills to them and course leader. I need to rush a conclusion that is visible to someone else, yet I don’t believe in it myself full and that this process really works.
I have fears that I am found out that I don’t know, that I am a fraud, that I don’t know what I am talking about. I judge myself quickly.
I think the outcome needs to be presentable and fit in.
I shoehorn, try to make a necessary messy process to bring it to a quick and neat conclusion.
I do that with myself. That’s what I have experienced with myself in school. I felt very big pressure and now put on myself to fit in neat.
My ownership, what does that possible messiness mean to me?
Pushing vs Guiding and Supporting, where is the tipping point?
When guiding, supporting and being present with students turns into ‘Pushing’
This often happens when the students need to produce a presentable outcome.
What I need from the students? I project my fears and insecurities onto the students. I need to show through my students’ work that the process works. In that fear I take away the students’ ownership and responsibility of their project by micro-managing, doing things for them, taking the work out of their hands. So that the outcome appears to be presentable in my and others’ eyes. When I bring that agenda to my teaching I am not able to hear and support the individual student.
The students often react in disengagement with a ‘hands-off’ approach. They loose connection, excitement, trust and a sense of ownership over their work.
On contrary, when I am present with students and encourage, support and spark their curiosity the students gain trust in their abilities and the creative process.
Therefore, I need to walk with the students. Start to see their curiosities and interests through their eyes, while seeing possibilities of where they can take it next.
It starts to get dangerous when I overtake responsibility of their work and tell them where they need to go on their journey.
How can the students have a sense of ownership of their work?
Element of choice, while giving clear guidance
Give time for their process, students work on different paces
Make space for different outcomes. What do students want to do?
Questions and Notes to myself:
What external responsibilities to I take on? Get clear right in the beginning of a course what the outcome might be. Build in flexibility of the outcome.
